It's Officially Too Hot Outside for Everything

The Atlantic Wire
It's Officially Too Hot Outside for Everything
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It's Officially Too Hot Outside for Everything

As we reach the pinnacle of this week's heat-dome induced heat-wave, the heat index could get as hight as 108 in New York and 110 in Washington D.C. today, making it officially too hot for all human activity. The "Peak RealFeel" — the official meteorological term from Accuweather — says it will feel like 113 in NY and 112 in D.C. According to the National Weather Service, numbers like that put us in the "danger" zone:

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In addition, the NWS has put out heat advisories for all over the country, telling everyone to stay inside. On an ordinary hot day, that might mean an excuse for summer fun. But not today. Today is officially too hot for fun. 

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Too Hot for Summer Sales. The marketing geniuses over at Jet Blue thought they'd take advantage of the heat to put on a sale, offering up to 90 percent off round-trip fares from New York  on any day it reached 90 by noon in Central Park. Unfortunately, with this week's temps, the airline couldn't afford the promotion

Stores selling air conditioners, however, have fared better than the poor airline. We understand that ice and ice cream are also selling briskly.  

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Too Hot for Food. Speaking of food, it can't handle this weather. The heat will fry bacon, cook eggs, and defrost burgers, as New York magazine testifies. We can't endorse cooking on the sidewalk, but it's definitely too hot to cook indoors. In this kind of heat, though, who feels like eating anything but ice-cream (which, by the way, you can order on-demand with Uber)?

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Too Hot for Clothing. That's an official order from the National Weather Service, which recommends loose-fitting clothing. So, yes, that means you manly men can wear shorts today. You even get a break from thinking about what to wear today, says The Wall Street Journal's style reporter

Too Hot for Work. Official Atlantic Wire doctor's orders: Go home, get naked, turn on the AC, and eat a popsicle. It's the only way. 

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